BYZANTINE MOSAIC: MOSES AND THE BURNING BUSH
Meanwhile Moses was tending the flock of his father-in-law Jethro, the priest of Midian. Leading the flock across the desert, he came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There and angel of the Lord appeared to him in the fire flaming out of a bush. As he looked on, he was surprised to see that the bush, though on fire, was not consumed. So, Moses decided, “I must go over to look at this remarkable sight, and see why the bush is not burned.”

When the Lord saw him coming over to look at it more closely, God called out to him from the bush, “Moses! Moses!” He answered, “Here I am.: God said, “Come no nearer! Remove the sandals from your feet, for the place where you stand is holy ground.”
Ex 3, 1-5

This story is so familiar that Moses seeing a burning bush does not surprise. He is Moses, after all, and those kinds of things happened to him. A close reading of the verses paint a different picture. Moses was doing a very ordinary thing: Leading his father-in-law’s flock of sheep across the desert. This is like your driving to work, filling out reports, teaching students, doing laundry, going to the grocery store. Moses was doing what he always did.

He was not in a special place. Not doing something unusual. Not expecting to find God around the corner, or in this case, hiding in a bush. Moses was not so different from us getting up every day, making a living and taking care of family. So why did I Am Who Am talk to him from a miraculously flaming shrub?

God had something to say to Moses. I Am Who Am had something for him to do and decided that a a burning bush would get his attention. It did, and when Moses walked over to investigate, the Lord instructed him to take off his sandals because he was on holy ground. This was the same ground Moses walked over day after day. There was nothing special about it except that Moses recognized the Lord’s Presence there. And wherever the Lord is is surely holy.

Like Moses, we often need something extraordinary to catch our attention, to remind us that we are on holy ground because God is present in every place and in every moment. We don’t get a burning bush. Perhaps it is the birth of a child, or the love of a spouse or special friend. A magnificent sunrise of night sky can remind us that God is with us.

Often, though, we are too busy to notice some of these signs of God-With-Us, and if we miss the big signs, how easy is it to miss Divine Presence in the ordinary routines of life? Because we may not be aware of that Presence does not change the fact that God is, indeed, with us in countless ways, and that we are walking on holy ground all the time.

In his play, “Our Town,” Thorton Wilder noted our ability to walk through the world unaware in the famous line spoken by Emily near the end of the play: Emily: Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it–every,every minute? Stage Manager: No. (pause) The saints and poets, maybe they do some

The poet, Elizabeth Barrett’s, wrote about the same thing in her narrative poem, Aurora Leigh” :
Earth’s crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God:
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes,
The rest sit round it, and pluck blackberries…

Recognizing the Sacred in our midst takes practice, but even though we will most likely never see a burning bush, we can learn to be aware that we are on holy ground and take off our shoes.

PHOTO: MARY VAN BALEN OF SILVER GELATIN PRINT BY RAYMOND MEEKS: JOSE’ ESTUARDO SOTZ ALVAREZ, BOSTON MA 1992 FOR AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL

My son, you are here with me always; everything I have is yours. But now we must celebrate and rejoice, because your brother was dead and has come to live again; he was lost and has been found.
LK 15, 31-31

Sometimes when reading Scripture, I am tempted to hurry over or skim passages that are as familiar as this story of the prodigal son. This parable is often used to illustrate God’s willingness to forgive when one is repentant or the importance of conversion of heart. Both, of course, are valid interpretations, but what struck me today was the joy of the father. He didn’t question his son about wisdom he might have acquired as a result of his licentious activity or even his unsavory work for Gentiles. The son may have had a change of heart or a repentant spirit, but in the story, none of that is discussed. The younger son barely managed his rehearsed statement before his father had servants putting sandals on his feet, a ring on his finger, and a robe around his dirty, skinny shoulders.

Once he saw his wayward son approaching, the father broke out in a run uncharacteristic of a refined gentleman of the Orient, so I doubt he wasted much time asking for explanations. As he repeated throughout the story, what had been lost was found; what had been dead had come back to life. Both good reasons to celebrate.

The elder son didn’t share his father’s unreasonable enthusiasm, but the parable leaves us hanging; we don’t know if he went in and joined the party or stayed outside sulking and feeding his attitude.

There is no question that the father was having a wonderful time with friends, servants, and his youngest son.

This joy and immediate forgiveness is echoed in today’s Old Testament reading and the Psalm. The prophet, Micah, lived in a politically dangerous time for the Israelites. It was also a time of corruption among leaders including religious leaders and those with economic power. Micah, like Isaiah and Jeremiah, was concerned with the poor and oppressed. His book begins with dire predictions and lament, contains some promise of hope, and then condemns the leaders and common people who are dishonest and unworthy of trust.

Today’s verses are the last in the book and are thought to be from a liturgical rite. They focus not on the wrong doing, but on God who “delights… in clemency.” This is the Father in Luke’s parable. He is eager to rejoice and party with his son, looking past his sin and seeing only that he has returned.

Psalm 103 praises God who forgives and who loves without measure. “As the heavens tower over the earth, so God’s love towers over the faithful. As far as the east is from the west, so far have our sins been removed from us.”

These words bring joy to my heart, for while I hope I can be as welcoming at the prodigal’s father, I know that if I can, it is because God is more than joyful and welcoming to me.
© 2010 Mary van Balen

PHOTO: MARY VAN BALEN

Rely on the mighty Lord;
constantly seek his face.
Recall the wondrous deeds he has done…
Ps 105, 4-5a

My spiritual director has to remind me from time to time to reflect on the history of God’s Presence in my past. This usually is necessary when I am struggling with my present. The Holy Mystery remains so mysterious that I cannot catch even a glimpse. My life, while interesting, is in chaos and I cannot discern a path. I am stuck in the midst of a plethora of possibilities or languishing for lack of any.

During these times I don’t feel much like rejoicing or proclaiming God’s wondrous deeds as the Psalmist suggests a few verses before these. The rest of the Psalm recounts God’s providential care of Israel until, in the end; God’s people had possession of the land and its wealth and could shout “Hallelujah!”

As I read and reread this Psalm, the plight of Joseph resonated with me. Not his final triumph, becoming the king’s right hand man, but the time of betrayal and imprisonment that preceded it. wondered what he was thinking then. Was he trying to remember how God had been faithful to the covenant in the past and to trust that the Holy One would be faithful to him as well?

My spiritual director was right, as she usually is. Some times are dark and confusing, and no clear path reveals itself, no “right way” is discernable, no choice is in my power to make. At such times, rather than mentally moving frantically from one possibility to another, I need to wait and remember my history with God. When I am able to chose and move on, I will look back, like Joseph in his glory, and see God’s tracks in my chaos, in others’ lives entwined with mine in ways I may someday know and in ways I could never imagine. Then I will be able to sing “Hallelujah!”
© 2010 Mary van Balen

Blessed in the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose hope is the Lord.
That one is like a tree planted beside the waters
That stretches out its roots to the stream:
It fears not the heat when it comes,
Its leaves stay green;
In the year of drought it shows no distress,
but still bears fruit.
Jer 17, 7-8

Years ago, someone gave me two pussy willow stems. They rooted quickly in a water-filled vase and after just a few weeks they were ready to plant. I put them beside the garage where a future bush would be visible from the kitchen window. That was a mistake. A water pipe ran not far from the pussy willow and became clogged over the years by willow roots doing just what the tree did in Jeremiah’s metaphor: They stretched out to water, finding every tiny crack until the pipe was full and the bathtub upstairs wouldn’t drain.

How can roots be so smart? And what happened to my spiritual “smarts” when it comes to seeking out the “water” that gives me life? A quick Internet search informed me that plant roots’ ability to grow toward water or moisture is called “hydrotropism” and occurs at the tender root cap, which sends a signal to another part of the root that controls growth. The root cap adds a cell at a time in the direction of the water source. If the root cap is cut off or damaged (or in some experiments, covered) the root will not grow toward the moisture.

“Tropisms” (from Greek “tropos,” to turn, and “ism,” a system) exist in plants for all types of stimuli: heat, light, moisture, and gravity. Plants can respond positively and grow toward the stimuli or negatively and grow away from stimuli. (Some plants love sun, others thrive in shade.) Plants don’t grow toward something that is harmful but move steadily toward what is necessary for their survival.

Human beings, on the other hand, have the dubious ability to misread their environment and move toward empty or harmful things while ignoring what is healthy, all the while thinking they are approaching the good. This can happen in the physical realm: Eating nachos and chocolate instead of broccoli and fish. It can also happen in the spiritual realm: Filling up every available moment with activity rather than taking time to become aware of God-With-Us and respond to that Presence.

Lent can be a time to make sure our spiritual “root caps” are in good shape and leading us in a life-giving direction. That they are not stunted by constant activity, overload, or bad habits. Giving ourselves time to read Scripture or other sources of spiritual wisdom, to pray, to reflect, to worship revitalizes our spiritual sensitivity and helps us rest in a place that will feed our souls and renew our hearts.
© 2010 Mary van Balen

Photo: Gabbra Wooden Cup – Sueno Studio

He said to her, “What do you wish?” She answered him, “Command that these two sons of mine sit, one at your right and the other at your left, in your kingdom.” Jesus said to her in reply, “You do not know what your are asking. Can you drink the cup that I am going to drink?” They said to him, “We can.”

When I was nine or ten, I knew I wanted to be especially close to God. That was my desire, and in my innocence and naiveté, I thought that closeness would make me special to God. I remembered that as I read today’s gospel. Unlike James and John, I wasn’t hoping for power, but like them, I didn’t understand what being close to God and doing Jesus work would mean in my life.

Jesus knew, though. He found out, living his own life, that the more one truly reflects Divine Love in this world the more one will suffer. Jesus came to love and serve all. Obviously James and John and the other ten who were miffed by the brothers’ ambition, hadn’t understood what Jesus was trying to show them.

To grow closer to God, to become a more perfect reflection of the Holy One, to help bring the Kingdom, means becoming the least, the servant to all. It means enduring difficulties and suffering we do not expect. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?” Jesus asked. “Sure,” they might answer today. “No problem.” They answered so quickly. Jesus was right: They didn’t know what they were asking.

Neither do those of us who desire to follow Jesus. When we begin to understand, we also begin to learn that the only way to do it is with the help of the Spirit dwelling within. And as far as being special to God, I have learned that God does not have favorites. His Love and call to service is for all. ©2010 Mary van Balen

PHOTO:MARY VAN BALEN

I need no bullock from your house,
no goats from your fold.
For every animal of the forest is mine,
beasts by the thousands on my mountains.
I know every bird of the heavens;
the creatures of the field belong to me.
Offer praise as your sacrifice to God;
fulfill your vows to the Most High.
Ps 50 9-11; 14

What could the Maker of All That Is possibly desire? Not the sacrifices of the Israelites. The earth, the sky, every creature, every star, every universe belongs to the Creator. There is but one thing: Our hearts. And we give it by praising God with our lives. We reverence our sisters and brothers. We care for the earth and its creatures. We share the gifts we have been given as servants. We work for peace. We follow the example of Jesus. What could the Maker of All That Is possibly desire? Our love. © 2010 Mary van Balen

“LAMENT” BY CONNIE BUTLER
How long, Lord? Will you be angry forever?
Will your rage keep burning like fire?
Pour out your wrath on nations that reject you,
on kingdoms that do not call on your name,
For they have devoured Jacob,
laid wast to his home.
Help us, God our savior,
for the glory of your name.
Deliver us, pardon our sins,
for your name’s sake.
Why should the nations say,
“Where is their God?”
Before our eyes make clear to the nations
that you avenge the blood of your servants.
Lord, inflict on our neighbors sevenfold
the disgrace that they inflicted on you.
Then we, your people, the sheep of your pasture,
will give thanks to you forever;
through all ages we will declare your praise. Ps 79, 5-7; 10; 12-13

Readings like this can make us uncomfortable. Ingrained proscriptions against complaining to God about Divine absence in times of trial and asking for vengeance to be visited on our enemies can make praying this Psalm difficult. Aren’t we supposed to forgive those who hurt us? Aren’t our words to God supposed to be words of praise and thanksgiving? Doesn’t this make us seem to be, well…whiners?

Not really. This is a Psalm of Lament, and lamenting is something many of us do not do well, even though it is a natural and healthy expression of feeling. Lament is a cry of grief that grows out of something done to us, something that is unfair, unjust. When we lament, we go straight to God and don’t pull any punches.

“Where have you been when I needed you?” we might ask. “Are you going to be mad at me forever?” “Don’t let my enemies gloat. We both look bad.” “Maybe I have done things I shouldn’t, but I don’t deserve THIS.” “Make my enemies suffer; I want revenge.”

This seems downright unchristian, but it is honest. Sometimes we ARE angry about what life throws our way, and despite prayers and petitions, God doesn’t seem very concerned. It makes us mad. God can handle mad, but when we keep it bottled up inside of us, too proper to express what we really feel, we suffer.

Psalms of Lament show us the way to talk with God about these feelings. First, we remember that God is a personal God we can talk to, or yell at. God cares about us.
Then we spill out our anger. How can this happen to me? We can rant as long as we need to. We can ask for vengeance. Knowing that someone who caused us pain is going to suffer for it can relieve anguish, or so it seems. It feels good when anger spews out of hearts that are deeply hurt and confused.

But after ranting for awhile, we realize our energy is waning. I often end up crying and am spent. It is then that I hear what I have been saying. I reconsider. I know the Holy One loves me. I don’t want to hurt others, really. I just want the hurting in my heart to stop. I want God to fix it somehow.

Eventually the Psalmist turns to praise and thanksgiving. God is Good and Compassionate. In the end, we have to trust in that Compassion. That is easier to do once we have been honest about our pain and anger.

If you have not been comfortable with Psalms of Lament, or Lament, this Lent, try incorporating it into your prayer © 2010 Mary van Balen

PHOTO: MARY VAN BALEN
While he was praying his face changed in appearance and his clothing became dazzling white. And behold, two men were conversing with him, Moses and Elijah, who appeared in glory and spoke of his exodus that he was going to accomplish in Jerusalem. As they were about to part from him, Peter said to Jesus, “Master, it is good that we are here; let us make three tents, on for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” But he did not know what he was saying. While he was still speaking, a cloud came and cast a shadow over them, and they became frightened when they entered the cloud. Then from the cloud came a voice that said, “This is my chosen Son; listen to him.” After the voice had spoken, Jesus was found alone. Lk 9,29-31; 33-36a

When I see something that gives me a glimpse into God’s glory, I want to hang on to it, like Peter. Sometimes when I am watching the sun set over the ocean, I want the sun to stop right where it is, and delay its inevitable disappearance behind the waters.Perhaps a symphony’s beautiful music rolls over me and fills my soul with a sense of God’s magnificence, even more stirring than the music. In a moment my experience of Divine wonder is gone and no matter how long the music fills the concert hall, the gift has passed.

A child’s face, a delicate flower, a violent storm, an embrace…all these things, and anything, can become a window into the glory of God that opens for just a moment. It may move me to tears or fill my heart with deep joy. Such a glimpse of grace cannot be held or recreated. It is pure gift. It reaches down into the soul, transforms it in ways unknown, and then is gone.

Something not to be grasped at, but to receive with gratitude, it is Divine Presence that owns the moment, and I am blessed to be there.
© 2010 Mary van Balen

PHOTO: MARY VAN BALEN- Morning Market

This day the Lord, your god, commands you to observe these statutes and decrees. Be careful, then to observe them with all your heart and with all your soul. Today you are making this agreement with the Lord: he is to be your God and you are to walk in his ways and observe his statutes, commandments and decrees, and to hearken to his voice. And today the Lord is making this agreement with you: you are to be a people peculiarly his own.
Dt 26, 16-18a

This morning, when my feet touched the floor and I took a deep breath, I once again entered my sacred agreement with the Holy One: I say “yes” to the gift of my life, whatever it brings, “yes” to God. Today I am making an agreement with God to use my life for good, to follow the example of Jesus, and to avoid actions that allow evil and discord to seep into the world.

The Holy One makes an agreement too: Infinite Love makes me a unique child of God, and we will walk together.

Tonight, when I crawl into bed and burrow under blankets, I know I will have done less good than I might have done and failed more often that I had hoped I would. Yet, I can lay my head on the pillow and rest, assured that God has been faithful to our agreement. I will sleep knowing that despite failure to live up to my end of the bargain, I remain “peculiarly God’s own.” When the sun rises I will be offered the agreement once again that day and every day I take a breath.

© 2010 Mary van Balen

e.e.cummings poem i thank You God for most this amazing

THE RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL SON: Rembrandt van Rijn

Out of the depths I call to you, Lord;
Lord, hear my cry!
May your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.
If you, Lord, mark our sins,
Lord, who can stand?
But with you is forgiveness
and so you are revered.
For with the Lord is kindness,
with him is full redemption.
Psalm 130, 1-4; 7

Sometimes, looking back over my life, I become aware of my weaknesses, flaws, and sins. What have I done that has hurt others? How much time have I wasted? How many opportunities have I squandered? How many times have I withheld gifts, given by God for the good of all? Was I shy? Intimidated? Lazy?

I can be harder on myself than I am on others, reluctant to show myself the same compassion I extend to them. If I am aware of my failures, how many more must the Creator see?

The comfort of this Psalm lies in its image of Holy One. Though on my own, I am unable to become who I am made to be, God does not dwell on my weakness, but instead looks at me with love and forgiveness. Like the Father welcoming the prodigal son, God sees me with joy and wraps me in a loving embrace. Like a parent who looks at her child and sees deeper than appearances, knowing the heart that is momentarily shrouded in hurt and anger, God looks past my imperfect self and sees the spark of divinity that dwells in my soul, just as God intended.

Compassionate One who welcomes me, who welcomes all, help me to accept your love and to share it freely with others, seeing not their faults but their hearts which you have made.
© 2010 Mary van Balen