I wasn’t prepared for the ups and downs of recovery after last month’s knee replacement surgery. I expected pain, but not the exhaustion, mood swings, and inability to get anything done. (I’m reminded of the line from Larry Shue’s funny play, “The Foreigner.” I felt like “a waste of food!”) Sleep. Eat. Watch Netflix. Read. Sleep some more. That was about it.
My prayer practice was not spared. To be honest, I had neglected quiet prayer and Lectio Divina before surgery, too. So, today, after feeling that I finally had turned a corner, I decided to begin again. For the next month or so, I’ll share my journey on this blog…
I lit the beeswax candle, adding some extra wax trimmed from the top, to keep it burning longer. I made tea in my round mug because it is good to hold and I was cold. I put on some Mozart to mask sounds from the flat above mine, and laid out a small pewter labyrinth. I picked up the stylus and began to move it along the labyrinth, trying to concentrate on the path and quiet my mind. “Trying” is the operative word. And none too successful.
Perhaps most telling was the fact that despite moving the stylus slowly and carefully through the twists and turns, I never reached the center. Instead, I surprised myself by exiting at the edge…where I had begun. Sigh. I must have jumped over a ridge. Or something. I thought I had been careful.
“Being present,” I thought. I need practice.
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