Sometimes we do anything to drive darkness away. The empty space inside our hearts, the “virginal emptiness” as Caryll Houselander calls it, can be uncomfortable. Even as we “wait” during Advent, we can fill our days with enough activity and preparation for Christmas day that we have no time or desire to experience the emptiness which God alone can fill. And honestly, who can blame us? Darkness can be scary. Like when we were children and wanted a night light or at least the bedroom door left ajar to let in light from the hallway. Who knew what lurked in the darkness under our beds, in the closets, or in the night?
When I saw this house and lawn covered with lights and every imaginable decoration from Santas to moose sitting on packages, I was reminded of the human tendency to light up the dark, even if the end result is as confusing and garish as these Christmas decorations. A nativity scene is tucked into the display, but is not lit and is better seen when the sun comes up and the electricity goes off.
While waiting in the darkness, I try to remember today’s passage from Isaiah, one of my favorites: Thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: O people of Zion, who dwell in Jerusalem, no more will you weep; He will be gracious to you when you cry out, as soon as he hears he will answer you. The Lord will give you the bread you need and the water for which you thirst. No linger will your Teacher hide himself, but with your own eyes you shall see your Teacher. While from behind, a voice shall sound in your ears: “This is the way; walk in it,” when you turn to the right or to the left. He will give rain for the seed that you sow in the ground, And the wheat that the soil produces will be rich and abundant. (Is 30.19-21,23)
In darkness, I don’t always hear that voice or feel the blessed rain of Grace and the fruitfulness promised. But, I have a better chance of hearing it when I am still than when I light my darkenss with distractions and activity meant to drive it away. Having faith that the Voice is speaking, that the Grace is falling is difficult. Still, I wait. We wait. The world waits. The young Afghan woman from yesterday’s blog, waits. The poor and oppressed wait. It is good to remember, we do not wait alone.
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