“…Soul, self, come, poor Jackself, I do advise/
You, jaded, let be; call off thoughts awhile/
Elsewhere; leave comfort root-room; let joy size/
At God knows when to God knows what; whose smile/
‘s not wrung, see you; unforeseen times rather – as skies/
Betweenpie mountains – lights a lovely mile.”
from Gerard Manley Hopkins – poem 46
This morning a line from Psalm 3 found a place in me. A simple line, “I lie down, I sleep and I wake, for the Lord upholds me.”
Surely nothing special. In the midst of danger and trial, the psalmist goes on, knowing the Holy One sustains him. The ordinariness of the line is what stayed with me. Not only through achievement or great effort, but also through the quotidian routines of life, God is Emanuel: With Us. And not begrudgingly, but offering Grace.
A friend mentioned Hopkins’ poem 46 to me the other day, and I came home, took out my “Gerard Manley Hopkins: Poems and Prose” Seleted and edited by W.H. Gardner,” and read it a few times, letting the words linger. Hopkins’ brilliant juxtaposition of words and created words delight and reach deep.
In my January 13 column, The World Is Great With God, I mention the human tendency to be hardest on ourselves, missing the Divine Presence in and around us, focusing instead on self and shortcomings. Hopkins poem was written at a dark time in his life and reflects his recognition of the need for self compassion.
Poem 46 begins, “My own heart let me more have pity of; let/ Me live to my sad self hereafter kind,/Charitable; not live this tormented mind/With this tormented mind tormenting yet…”
Letting our thoughts go elsewhere refreshes and enspirits. A daughter working on her PhD dissertation takes time out to spend an evening with a friend going to exercise classes and eat tacos at their favorite local Mexican restaurant. This morning, before tackling other chores and attempting a nap before two overnight shifts at the department store taking inventory, I allowed myself time to play with poetry and paint.
“You used to do art all the time,” my daughter mused one day and then gave me a lovely blank book of heavy drawing paper she spied in a shop window the day before heading back from Rome.
She is right. I used to draw and paint. And sing and write songs. And fashion gifts from nature’s bounty.
As the new year begins, I am promising myself more time to “play,” …call off thoughts awhile/Elsewhere; leave comfort root-room…”
I know when we take time to do that, our souls are refreshed. No longer filled only with worry, criticism, and doubt, they hold more Life. As John says in today’s gospel when his followers are concerned that Jesus’ baptizing will eclipse the work of their teacher, “He must increase. I must decrease.”
Being compassionate with ourselves and allowing time for connecting with God in the people and world around us, being still and recognizing the Grace that lives within us, doesn’t exactly “decrease” who we are. It decreases the pre-occupation with self that can be destructive and allows us to grow into the reflection of God we were made to be.
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