One Tired Sheep

Photo: Eprodicals.com
He is like a shepherd feeding his flock,
gathering lambs in his arms,
holding them against his breast
and leading to their rest the mother ewes. Is 40, 11

Tonight I came home from work hoping to write an encouraging or inspirational blog since I couldn’t put one together this morning. I pulled up today’s Mass readings, readings for the Liturgy of the Hours, and information on the saint whose feast we celebrate today: Saint Ambrose.

Good material, all of it, but I am not up for the task. Instead I identify with the mother ewes in the first reading who must have been completely exhausted. Isaiah doesn’t say much about the mother ewes other than Jesus led them to their rest. Having raised three children I can identify with them. Children, blessing that they are, wear you out. “Physically, when you are younger,” a theology prof once shared with me, “and emotionally when they are older.”

Either way, the mother ends up worn out. Even though my weariness is not child related today,I am still one tired sheep.

The second Mass reading today comes from Matthew 18:12-14…

Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Tell me. Suppose a man has a hundred sheep and one of them strays; will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hillside and go in search of the stray? I tell you solemnly, if he finds it, it gives him more joy than do the ninety-nine that did not stray at all. Similarly, it is never the will of your Father in heaven that one of these little ones should be lost.’

When I read it I was relived, and decided to write a simple prayer from my heart:

Good Shepherd,
I am here,
on the old living room couch,
waiting for you.
I am not wearing anything special,
or doing anything note worthy.
Actually,
I am pretty unremarkable in every way.
I hope you notice that I am missing from your flock
when you go to gather them together for the night.
I am easy to miss.
I don’t have the energy to call out for you,
so I just wait.
And hope.
And doze off
when I should be thinking lofty thoughts
and composing memorable lines.
It is Advent.
A good time for waiting I am told.
I hope you are not long.
I’m cold and tired,
and have no idea what else to do
besides wait.
I’m counting on your Good Shepherd heart
to seek me out
and bring me home.
Amen.
©2010 Mary van Balen